Blogging every day is kinda hard. I’m at 27 now and while there is a lot to type about I don’t know if I really feel like it all the time.
This writing everyday, it’s really good exersize for my mind, but I guess it can be a little difficult. Sometimes stuff happens and you don’t feel like sharing or nothing acutally happens.
Stuff happens I guess. There’s nothing much I can do about it and won’t cry. I’m not exactly the crying type anyway. What’s worse is when things happen and you kind of saw them coming. You feel like some sort of idiot.
I don’t really know if that makes sense but I guess what I mean is something like this. For a person who thinks in worse case senarios, I can say that it henders you a lot when you want to do things or be happy. It’s like some kind of inner battle with yourself before things even happen. The thing that really beats down on you is when what you were expecting to happen actually happens. It loses its surprise or pain.
Part of me is happy for that. Part of me is glad that I morn for a loss before I lose it because everything is lost eventually. It feels less hurtful when it happens. You feel the pain but at least you can face it better. Pain makes you stronger. Thus that makes pain important and good, in a way.
I say that but I also find it a silly and a stupid way to look at things. Pain should be avoided right? Pain is awful and hurtful and can scar people for life. How can such a thing be good?
I should be happy. I really should. Things are going awful but I really should be happy because things are going great for me as well.
Stuff happens and things get in the way but I wont make excusses. I wont say I can’t. I will be happy. I’ll take fear sadness pain anger, I’ll take all of it on and beat it to the ground. I wont lose. I don’t like to lose even to feelings. I wont stop those feelings from happening. That’s impossible, but I will not be ruled by them. I will not cry untill I wish too.
I will be happy because I should be.