Floating Along Searching

The Pacific Ocean

I’m floating around still. I am still lost. Where is the land at! I feel like I have been floating around her forever now. How long has it been? Time started when I actually moved but now it seems I count the days by meals. I count the days by waves now. Somehow I’ve started counting the days in other ways than the actual movement of the sun. When I think about it I realize that the ocean actually makes up most of this speck of a planet. I should come across land soon though right? RIGHT!

I’ve gathered stuff on the way. It’s not much but I can’t just float on a board right? There are a lot of plant stuff around so I bound some more wood to my plank. I can get out of the water now but sometimes its cold. Sometimes I’m scared. I’m hungry and have no mass to me now. I need things but I can’t find them here. I have to keep moving.

I feel dead but I can’t give up. I am numb but I won’t stop. Why am I still moving again? Sometimes I forget. There is no one here to remind me. I’m not crazy yet but this situation would make anyone crazy. Or am I crazy? I forget. Things just are not easy here. Why is it so hard? I’m going though and learning on the way.

I’ve got quite the raft going now. It’s very impressive and that little raft gave me some hope and enthusiasm when I first put it together. I even figured out how to not die yet. Yes I’m very impressive right now. Or at least that’s what I though. I’m still hungry and I can’t quite figure out how to not be cold. There is nothing here anymore. I have to find something quick.

I don’t know which direction to go in though. I don’t know anything. What made me think I was awesome before? What made me think I was special? I am obviously not for being in this situation. I have to keep going though. Why, I can’t remember anymore.

Do you think it would be easier to drown? Maybe giving up would be easier. At least I wont be in pain anymore. But isn’t that kinda cowardly? I don’t know. Maybe I should keep going for a while longer. If it gets that bad maybe I’ll think of giving up again. I have to hope for a while longer. I have to keep going. Right?

This is stupid. There is no hope there is no chance. I have no reason anymore. I should just leave this stupid raft I put together on my own. I say that yet I don’t want to leave. It feels like the only think I’ve ever known.

What is that? Is it a blob? I can’t tell. I can’t see. Is it something? Can I dare to hope? This happened too many time already but is it something?

Look! There’s a beach! It really is one! I can’t believe it! There is someplace to get off at! Maybe I’ll be safe now. Maybe I’ll be ok! I just have to get there. I can do it! I can see it. I can do it. I’ve lasted this long I can make it.

I think I’ll just crash on this nice beach and just close my eyes for just one second. For just a little while I don’t have to worry about drowning. Maybe, someone will find me. Maybe I am finally free of the ocean.

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