I feel like I’m drifting away. I look around and I’m floating on some kind of board and for some reason I’m just drifting along. It feels like a sea of nothingness.
Why am I just drifting? Why cant I find the shore? Which direction should I go in now? I was never really good with directions anyway. The sun is hot and my shoulders are tanned from floating around for so long.
Every time I look up I have hope and I hope some more but I feel defeated every time I look and the shore isn’t there. Where are you shore? How can I get out of the water? I have motion sickness. I can’t swim very well. Why do I feel like I can’t escape this ocean? My legs are tired and my grip on the board is weakening. How do I make it to the shore?
Where is it? My lips are chapped and I feel like I havent spoken in a long while. I havent really spoken for so long that my mouth doesn’t seem to remember how to move anymore.
I want this routine to change. I’m tired of drifting here. I need a change soon. I can’t keep doing nothing. My days are blurring together. I want to be free of this. I want time to move again. Please move again time.
Maybe time is moving but it’s me that’s stuck again. But why? I thought I was over this. I thought that I was done with this problem. How silly. Am I hindered again by something so ridiculous?
Were Is that damn shore! I need to be able to move again. The edges of my vision are turning black again. My head is light and I can’t feel anymore. The ocean is making me feel numb.
I’m not strong right now I am only numb. Being strong is when I can take the feeling and face it but I’m not being strong. I don’t feel much right now. Did I lose it in this ocean?
Is this even an ocean? I thought I would be found by now. Am I not to be saved? I thought I would have been saved and everything would work out good. Why is that not happening?
Nothing happens like that. The world isn’t going to magically pop some answer out of thin air. I can’t depend on that. I have to depend on my self to get to the shore. I can’t rely on something else. I have to be strong. I have to face it and get there on my own.
Snap out of it! MOVE!
Oh! My foot moved. I’m moving. Can I do this?
Maybe if I keep moving, I’ll get somewhere. Look. I’m moving. I can’t cry though. I need to save the water. There is enough salt around me already.
Look at me, I’m moving.